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August 22 August 16Same old same here at the mansion although there is one less. I will miss Zayra a lot. She is one of a kind with real heart, talent, creativity and edge. Everyone here is really crazy in each person’s own way. I loved going into the studio again. That’s one of my favorite places to be. Playing live in the studio is the next best thing to a spontaneous moment in a concert. Actually it’s just as good- just different. Knowing that a song is being laid down at that moment and pushing all this air and gut through a microphone with everything cranked up so loud turns me on- body and soul. I came out of the studio and heat was coming off my head like you can’t believe. It was a sweet relief. Making music is what it’s about. The next day, which was yesterday, I came in and sang “Celebrity Skin” and had a blast. I learned the song in a few hours the night before and ripped it. I jumped off the five-foot pod in the middle of the song into the audience and walked up to where Dave and Gilby and Jason and Tommy were and finished the climax of the song out. Another sweet and intense moment. I felt like if they sent me home, they saw me crushing it and the house was full tilt. That’s all I wanted. They will decide what they want and need. The house is so much quieter now that there are only seven of us here. You guys don’t forget that- even when someone is in the bottom three, it can be just by a small margin. Don’t give up on me and keep the votes coming. I love singing for you. Thanks for you support. The sun's going down now and I’m going to have some dinner, practice and work out before I crash. Speak to ya soon. Nine Lives! Love- Patrice August 16 Tell us about your song selectionThe producers of Rock Star: Supernova want to hear from you. Click on the comments link below to tell us why you chose the song you did for Patrice. Your name and response may even be mentioned on the upcoming encore performance show. --Posted by Rock Star: Supernova Producers. August 15 August 12Saturday August 12th here at the mansion... There are eight of us now. We still have a lot of fun-but there are quieter, more intense times too. I just work out hard, practice, laugh as much as I can and have a bit of wine in the night to keep my head. I left home when I was 16 and I’ve been traveling ever since, it seems. I chose my song partly for that reason. This week it’s a song that doesn’t sound anything like Supernova, but it rings true lyrically for how a lot of people are feeling here- and how I’ve felt at many times in my life. When you are lonely, it helps sometimes to remember that you aren’t the only one. Half of us left home when we were kids and it’s not hard to figure out which ones of us that is. We’re all at times guarded in our subtle ways and yet tender when we let the walls down in a deep, deep way. Survivors no doubt, fierce, sweet and tragic all at the same time. My room is quiet every day now that I live in it alone. Needed that after the crazy trip to Vegas. I had a blast. Usually when I go to Vegas, I play a show and I’m in and out. This was actually my first time to go in and have the night to party and chill. I met a lot of great people who were just having a good time. Being around Gilby and Jason and Tommy in that atmosphere of just hanging out was good. We have to get to know each other to see who is the right fit for their band. It’s not just about singing. I’d like to make this band happen with them, but if I’m not the fit they are looking for cool. They have to make that call, but I know I can do it. If I’m not picked, my record is still coming out shortly and I’m psyched about that. Everything is almost in place. Thanks to all my fans for being patient about that. I know, I’ve been working on it for a long time. It’s about to come out. Really! Ha. August 08 August 5Today is my birthday and here I am at the mansion. A beautiful home built in the 1920's apparently. We learned a lot about it today when Storm, Dilana, Josh and Zayra were talking and invited me in after my workout to hang and hear about it. That was a great ending to a great day. From bouquets of flowers and balloons being delivered this morning for me, to a beautiful guitar cake being brought in this evening, along with presents from friends back home.
Thank you all for thinking of me today. The best thing tonight--aside from people eating my cake with no hands-faces buried in the cake--was when we all went outside under the stars and cut all the balloons (there were probably between 50-75 balloons from my family and friends). We cut them from the ribbons and handed them out to each other and released them into the sky. I sent some up for me and my intentions here and then some up for E, Joy, Mom, Todd, Cam, Ethan, Ryan and all my people. Love you guy's.
I'll be spending time tomorrow planning my next week-thinking about all these crazy personalities and how to love them without fading away on the show. I'm having the time of my life in this crazy trip.
We wrote another song to a Supernova track this week and that was a good night. And I got the sweetest Gibson--jet black SG( Electric Guitar) with the word “Goddess” written on the head-stock. SSSAAAWWEEEETTTT. It's a screamer for sure. Great B-day present.
I went down into the woods last night and camped out under the pine trees. I wanted to do something different since it's my birthday. Good times after the X Games party.
Thanks to everybody who has been coming out to the shows. It's so great when you are there, especially when I really need your love.
"ODE TO JOAN OF ARC"
Wonder Wonder all the while
They ponder night and day While the black birds caw And the drink pours neatly Down the belly and paw Crawling, standing all the way Then walking with my might The warrior sleeps For candid dream Until my fright takes flight Watch you demons all the day And speak your cowardice I will not crack For all your howling and Whispering on my back Wake and challenge now be quick The tables turn the morrow And what was quiet turn to song That victory need not borrow August 03 August 1Tuesday week 5 end
Chilling out at the Grove after getting some body love from some great massage and skin care ladies. It’s a nice break from a lot of brain scrambling – song selecting – living with a bunch of crazy people (crazy good mostly) in a mansion with ghosts. What’s a girl gonna do? Yesterday we were out too, which is rare. Yesterday was a day of tattoo craziness. I’ve never gotten a tattoo on the fly, so to speak. Usually I wait and think and plan and chill out with the artist who will do it.
I knew upon being asked if I would go that I would do something I never would have done in the past. In keeping with that theme of doing crazy things now that never would have occurred to me before, I had inscribed in my skin forever the bridge of my elimination song “My Iron Lung” by Radiohead. Thanks to Radiohead for being so off the hook and inspiring so that I could stand up there and really mean it. Below my Joan of Arc tattoo, below the words Love, Acceptance, forgiveness, patience, service and wisdom – translated into Hebew, there are the lyrics – If you are frightened, you can be frightened, you can be it’s ok followed by the initials M.I.L. (my iron lung).
Some people may think, “what are you doing out there.” I’m writing songs and making lifelong friends, practicing patience, training with a World Champion Boxer, missing my loved ones, partying like this life is the best thing in the world and knowing this is exactly where I want to be and loving it –even when I think I can’t stand it anymore. Oh –of course as you can see, occasionally writing for my blog. I got word from Austin that everyone else is writing blog stuff more than me and some people want to read more – so I’ll try to check in a bit more with you guys. July 28Thursday week 5 What I learned between that and my own situation of getting myself into the bottom three was that nothing here can be taken for granted. Death sometimes can bring life fully into view. I wasn’t going out like that. I won’t die with boring stamped on my gravestone. Well, when I went to my first audition, I didn’t know much about the show or the Supernova project. I spontaneously flew to San Francisco in the middle of a tour. I just had a feeling I should go. I had nothing Real to lose. Because I’m an independent artist and preparing to put out my own record, I’m on my own schedule. So, there I am at the audition, I finished my songs and immediately got a call back for the day. Because I'm an independent artist and preparing to put out my own record, I'm on my own schedule.They may not choose me in the end, but I have no July 25 July 24Hey everyone! Miss you all at home. But – so happy to be singing for the world Asia – Latin America, Iceland (I love Magni too) Australia and Canada along with my country and the world on the internet WOW. So this week will be tough for me. I pulled my miniscus in my knee wrestling with Zayra and Storm at the same time. PAINFUL GOOD TIMES. I’ve been in my room, listening to my new solo record and putting ice on my knee so I can CRUSH it next week. Shout out to Dave Navarro – you may not know it but – I Love your moves. Sorry about the misunderstanding. I’ve been a fan for a long time. Peace!!! July 21Morning:
Today we are starting rehearsals for our songs that we will perform this week. One of the songs I recorded on the multi track machine was either erased by accident or on purpose by someone. That was the toughest thing to take this week. The tech’s will try to retrieve it somehow, but six hours of sequencing and tracking may be lost. I really liked it. I can do it over again, as it’s all in my head, but it’s time consuming and keeps me from tracking the next song. Regardless, I’m psyched about the writing I’m doing here and I’m still stoked to be here.
Afternoon:
My rehearsal was great today. We set up the framework for a great breakdown ending. I think it’s interesting. The most interesting thing we’ve done this week has been to co-write a Supernova song in groups of four of us. It wasn’t easy to do in 6 hours with people who haven’t written together before – But it became easy and we nailed it. It sounded awesome when we did it the following day and sang it in front of everyone here along with Supernova listening. Going shopping for vintage clothes at one of my favorite spots today.
Also sending love to all my beautiful people in Austin and on and on and on. July 20 July 18Week four begins.
For some, the madness sets in. I’m feeling good, having a blast. Everyone gets moody a bit and people have breakdowns sometimes, but it’s interesting to see it. It brings out compassion.
I’ll be good, actually, great either way, Thanks to my career, my faith and of course my incredible community of fans and friends. You kick ass!
Today we are watching our performances and rehearsing elimination songs. I call mine my un-eliminated song. Right? CRUSH IT PEACE OUT!!
We went to the premiere of CONTENDER last night. It was really well done a great party went along with it. Good times being out. Some would think I wouldn't like boxing, with all my committed to non-violent conflict resolution. Actually I believe absolutely that when you can resolve conflict with out violence, it’s the best way to-the victorious warriors win with out a fight in the physical sense.
However, at home, I actually train with martial arts and boxing. I grew up learning that being powerful and being strong and prepared to be confident in a situation that could lead to violence actually can help keep fights from happening. There is a difference between a fighter and a warrior. It’s mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual.
Shout out to Sugar Ray and my training bro's Todd and Steve. July 14 July 7I’m thinking about the song I wrote called unraveling.
Do you now when you’re making plans in your life that they because like strings-wrapped up tight in a ball of neverending thoughts and meanderings and then one day to your surprise you realize they’ve all unraveled right before your eyes? Everything begins to make sense-for better or for worse, making sense of all those thoughts and promises and intentions. The unraveling of your mind materializes before you creating everything you’ve ever feared on hopefully dreamt into life.
Fourteen are here now. I swam late in the morning breathing my unravelings into the water as I pushed and pulled the cool through my fingertips. The oxygen was bubbling past my face like my worries washed away into nothingness. My breath moving into views into life and out of complications. Today is a good day. June 28I feel good and grateful. For what you say? All things. Nothing can go wrong. It is possible for love to prevail in the end. Some days I may feel troubled and some days like perfection was experienced… but everyday is so truly what you make it in your mind and heart. That’s what I’ve got, right now and everyday if I strive for that. I came here for the experience. To be fearless and be present even when it's difficult. “Be the change you want to see in the world” he said. I’ll do my best. MY LIFE HAS BEEN A SUPERNOVA. It’s too good to be true- or is it that everybody here has been so good to each other so far. It’s been sweet. Being in the pool yesterday and hanging out in the hot California sun was a sweet reminder of home. We are all about to do our first show together. I’m glad that I’m feeling great about the people here- the amazing space we’ll be playing in and feeling confident and natural with the hand. Tonight’s a sweet chill time. Hello to all my people. Peace! |
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